Broken Heart Survival Guide
Get back up stronger
and start a new life

Chapter 1:
Getting Starting
In Property Investing
Synopsis
These are some ways to help you accept the reality of breaking up, thus becoming more confident in yourself
and successfully picking yourself up.
The Basics
Avoid negative thoughts.
Do not let the negative
emotions or feelings take charge of your well-being.
Being negative would not turn the
situation around, but having positive thoughts would help you feel better,
and recover from the heartbreak easily.
Throw away the memories. Throw away stuff that would remind you of your ex – the couples’ T-shirt, the
pillow that he gave you, the watch
she bought you on Valentine’s Day, etc. You should start looking forward in life as this will help to recover faster and
to get ready for the next relationship.
Do something that you usually will not try. Challenge yourself to climb mountains or swim across the ocean.
Achieving something new in your life
will give you contentment, and make you realize that the breakup is not a big deal.
Release your feelings healthily. Take up gym sessions or get into an exercise routine. Writing it out, if you
find it hard not to think of the
breakup may help to put things into perspective. These actions may help you to feel better and allow you to have a clearer
understanding about the breakup.
Think of the flaws of your ex. If you still cannot get over the breakup,
think of all the bad things about your ex – do not remind
yourself again that he/she
is the kind and loving
one, a good sex partner, an understanding one….
Chapter 2:
Lesson learned
from this relationship
Synopsis
A breakup is painful, but it is not completely terrible either. At least, you gained one more experience on love and
life. One day, when you have healed
completely from the heartbreak, you will find yourself smiling over the silly things you have done.
Learning from this relationship which has now come to an end:
Lessons Learned
You know how to choose a better partner. You will feel more confident with yourself and your choice. You will know what is best for yourself
and who deserves your genuine love and care.
You learned how to treat your future partner better. Through this relationship, you understand better what really makes him/her
happy.
You know when to give encouragements, and when to
avoid picking on him/her.
You know what must or must not be done, what should
or should not be
talked about.
You learned how to handle heartbreak better. In case there is another failed relationship in future, you will be
stronger as you had gone through this
experience before, and would not be as fragile about love life.
You know what you
can do to pick yourself up.
Besides, through this experience, you may know how to communicate better
with other people.
You learned how to respect others. When you are in a relationship, you care for your partner most of the
time, trying to understand each other and avoid complications in life.
You learned to respect the other person’s personal
time and space, as well as his/her rights
to speak out.
You will get to know yourself better, as opposed to presuming, you know who you are. Your partner is like a
mirror to you – it reflects your
personality and character, or ways to handle daily activities. You would
slowly realize your own mistakes as your partner points it out to you.
Chapter 3:
Stop the blaming & forget
the past
Synopsis
To survive a breakup, you must be generous and try to forget the past. Why would you want the negative emotions
to continue with no end in
sight and stuck in your mind, affecting you in your everyday life functions? If you still have feelings
towards your ex, forgive him/her totally; forgiveness is the greatest love act
of all.
Have A Look
Do not blame anyone for everything. A breakup occurs when there are problems caused by both parties. Stop
the thoughts that your ex is the one
with all faults. Do not blame yourself for what you have done either
and keep from regretting things.
Do not question yourself, neither what you should have actually done at that time. The relationship is over now,
so why continue to figure out what to
do to curb the problems, especially if there is no chance to reconcile. At this moment, you should
focus on how to get rid of the heartbreak and not
sticking with it.
Do not let yourself look backwards. Stop reminding yourself about the failures in the relationship, including checking back all the text messages and emails from your ex in the
past. Do not allow all this to be the stumbling block that blocks
you from thinking
for yourself.
Remember the good, ditch the bad. Remember the good memories that both of you shared together; but
avoid reflecting back the bad times
and pressures, as this will make you feel less confident to start a new relationship.
Focus on the future. Whatever you experienced in this relationship, take it as experiences that brings you to a whole new level of examining
yourself and moving towards a better future. It is never a good thing to reflect on all the problems faced in the relationship, but
when you do, make sure you know how to find ways to improve yourself for the better.
Chapter 4:
Stay away from your ex
Synopsis
This is the best way to get rid of having clingy feelings or emotion dependency towards your ex – stay away
from your ex. Try to avoid staying in
touch, as it will create chances for both of you to rekindle the flame. Do not worry about how you will survive the breakup.
Here are some tips on how to stay away from your ex.:
Staying Away
Just stick with it. It will be hard at first not to keep in touch with your ex, but it will get easier
eventually. Be discipline in reminding yourself
not to fall into the trap of wanting to get back together and have faith in you.
Politely ignore all your ex’s attempts to contact you. Your ex may feel bad for breaking up with you, or
remain concerned about you and still care. Try to reject or avoid these contacts
by telling him/her
that you need some time alone.
Avoid face-to-face contact with your ex. Try to avoid meeting your ex as much as possible. Do not go and look for your ex, or allow any chances for him/her to meet with
you. Besides this, you should also consider
avoiding his/her close
friends and relatives.
Go with your plans. To stay away from your ex, you should make your own plans to distract yourself from
meeting your ex. People around may
give you lots of advice, but it is best to stick with your own plans, unless you are able to make the
best choices out of the advices given.
Do not listen to rumors.
People spread rumors
just to make you feel upset or it is sometimes done unintentionally. Do not get caught
up with those negative comments; move away or excuse yourself from listening to them.
On the plus side there are also tax reliefs
and benefits to be enjoyed in this type of investment. At the
very least if the property is
considered a good buy; the risks the owner is likely to face are comparatively lower than other types of
investments with higher risk ratios.
Chapter 5:
Start a break up diary
Synopsis
To help you feel better after the breakup, it is always better to put things in writing.
To start a breakup diary is simple;
prepare a notebook
and a pen. However, the choice of how to make it personal is up to you. A breakup diary can come
in many forms, either being a journal,
scrapbook or a memoir – choose the best that can help you to survive
your breakup.
A Diary
When you write in bad or stressful moments, you will usually end up feeling better. Writing out what you most
probably would keep to yourself will
help you to vent out your anger, grievance, unhappiness, etc.
You will gain more control of your life. At night before sleeping, write down what had happened in the day or any
events in your life. This enables you
to reflect back, on what you have done, and allows you to correct
your mistakes if you have any.
It clears your mind. You put creativity in writing about your life events,
such as word choice, the format (poems, dialog, plain text, etc), or you could use drawings rather
than writing. These actions allow your thoughts to be on creative ideas, rather than putting yourself
in pain and stress.
It improves your mental health. Write about your stressful moments or emotional events. Therefore, having a
breakup diary would help in healing and recovery
from a bad breakup.
You should consider the daily entries to be included in your breakup diary format. Try to develop a habit of
writing daily. However, it is okay if
you miss out any day – just move on with your current day’s events. Do remember to keep this diary
personal and private, so that you can release your thoughts freely.
Chapter 6:
Gaining strength
with friends and family
Synopsis
Wherever you are, your friends and family are the ones who will be available
for you at all times. Never forget that your friends and family
members are the most important people in your life, even with or without a life
partner.
These are some of the reasons on why you can gain strength from them, particularly after breakups:
Getting Strength
They are there for you. Your family members are the ones who are concerned about you the most. Your close
friends would support you for your
decisions. These people are the ones who surround you most of the
time, and understand you the most.
You will get the best advice. Your family and friends give you practical and reasonable advice, because they know
you best, your personality and character. They know what is best for you to hear and thus attempt to give
advice.
They will try their best to help you to get out of bad relationships. They will never fail you. When you are
upset, family and friends may take
you away for a break or just to enjoy and have fun. When you have no idea where to release your thoughts, your best pal will prompt you to speak of your
mind.
They may help sort out problems with you. Even if you want reconciliation with your ex, they will
find give advice on whether is it worth
a try. When you find it hard to bear the heartbreak, your family and friends will stay connected to you
to make sure you will be all right,
or maybe help you by trying to fix you up with a better future partner.
They are good listeners. Never neglect this fact. Your family and friends
are the ones who are willing to hear from you and genuinely feel sorry for you and help you as best as they can.
Chapter 7:
Work hard and keep yourself busy
Synopsis
You should not become more negative after you experienced a bad breakup. You should not be a sad,
depressed and pathetic person for too
long as this may become a habit. You must understand that even though you lost your partner of whom you
loved most, you did not lose everything.
Stay Busy
Work hard. This is the time for you to strive harder for yourself, and achieve
greater performance in your work. Work towards
getting yourself a salary raise, a higher promotion, or a great offer that satisfies you.
If possible, relocate yourself to a better place. Move to another place for better job opportunities or use it as
a way of staying away from your ex,
and avoiding any contact. This will allow you to pay full attention for your work.
Take up more recreational activities. Go for gym sessions, cycling, walkathons and any other physical
activities which will benefit you and your physical
health too.
Get involved in social groups,
like attending church activities, volunteering, etc. You may also practice
meditations to bring about emotional, spiritual, and mental balance.
When you keep yourself
busy,
You find yourself gaining greater self-confidence. Breakups make you develop low self-esteem, making you feel
inferior because someone you loved the
most rejects you.
You grow in maturity and become a better person.
You should immerse
yourself with your work and keep yourself
busy with helpful
activities, forcing yourself stay away from feeling depressed which may cause negative
indulgence such as heavy drinking,
sleeping around, or even suicide.
You do not have to worry about your future. At least after breakup, you have a stable working life or better
work opportunities. You may find
yourself a better future partner in the most
unexpected way. Besides, through
better working performance, you can prove to your ex that life without
him/her still goes on.
Chapter 8:
Taking care of yourself
Synopsis
Breakups can be very painful, as someone you loved and spent time with the most, now rejects you, or that
someone who once loved you the most
no longer does. Since you cannot reverse the breakup, it is time for you to lift your spirits
up, be strong, and survive
the relationship. It can be
hard to pick yourself up, but you can start with the first step –
taking care of yourself.
Take Care
Do not let yourself fall sick. Do not allow the negative feelings and emotions to affect your physical health.
Avoid thinking too much. Do not get
too depressed as it could make you become physically weary, which may affect your daily routines. Most
importantly, get enough rest and sleep.
Avoid self-destructive habits. Do not take drugs. Do not start smoking heavily, or become drunk often. These will never help you to feel better; instead, it may destroy you, over
time. Do also bear in mind, beside
your ex, there are people out there who still care and love you, especially your family and friends.
Do not fool around with love. Before you fully understand and handle the breakup, do not rush into the next
relationship; do not go around sleeping
with others, just because you want to get back at your ex or because you feel no one cherish you
anymore. Please respect yourself, and do not lower
your self-esteem.
Keep up with your daily
routines. After the breakup, release
your emotions. Cry hard, be sulky,
and be angry but don’t indulge in these for too long. Get back to your daily routines as soon as possible. Getting back to normal or even become a
better person is better for you and
those around you. Learn to focus on happy thoughts and actions.
Chapter 9:
Moving on & start
a new lifestyle
Synopsis
Staying positive is the best way to heal your pain and recover from a bad breakup. Do not let yourself falls
deeper into depression after the breakup,
and you must understand that there could be others who depend on you – your working partner, your colleagues, your
family and friends, or your children.
There are many great things in future ready for you to discover and own
them.
Move On
Get away. You may consider changing your working location, or settle your life somewhere else. Go overseas
for further studies or better job opportunities
if you can. This is a good way of getting rid of thoughts of the breakup and living with past memories.
Increase your knowledge. Start having reading
habits, or do plantings,
etc. You can start a new lifestyle by indulging in something that you would love to do and it can
benefit you. You may even learn more
by taking lessons on a different language, cooking, golf lessons, or you can further
your studies to get a PhD degree.
Pamper yourself. Now as you are being single, give yourself a better life. Go for relaxation spa, reflexology, or pick up Yoga, practice
meditations to enhance your outer and inner beauty. Pick up a sport, a hobby or interest to do when you are
free. Socialize with others, as it provides
a healthier well-being condition, mentally, psychologically, and emotionally. Hang out with your
business partners even after work for leisure. Have a nice shopping day with your best girlfriends.
When you are ready to move on and leave behind the breakup completely, make the right decision for yourself, to find a better future partner for a more serious
relationship, or stay being single. This
time, try not to let it fail again because you experienced this painful
heartbreak before.
Wrapping Up
Some breakups may be horrible due to difficulties in fixing big issues. Some people may experience domestic
violence, or having a partner who violates their own personal rights.
Some are so attached to their partner, that they do
not have any idea, how to survive
the breakup. If nothing else works, for you to survive a breakup, it is better to seek professional help or counseling to start the recovery
process.
Counselors give you
professional advice. You may get the answers
that you are seeking, from counseling sessions. Counselors will give you the most appropriate and professional
advice that best suits your situation.
You will be encouraged to make a positive change. Counselors lead you to a see the bigger picture on your
current issues and open your mind. They also try to show you opportunities to change your situation.
Counseling may help in solving a particular problem, which triggers the pain from the bad breakup. Seeking
counseling may also help you to get out of depression and stress, allowing you to be less anxious.
Counseling guides you to handle the issues that you find hard to get rid of. Counseling sessions may help you
to get rid of your heavy negative
emotions and feelings after the breakup, such as sadness, grievance, feeling of remorse, etc. Counseling may also help you to control
your aggressiveness.
You begin to understand yourself
better. Through counseling sessions, you may realize some of your own mistakes or what is
the main cause of the breakup, which slowly allows
you to be set free from the bondages.
Get rid of addiction. If you fall into addictions such as drugs,
smoking, alcohol, or any other vice activities after the breakup,
counseling helps you to stay away from them and leads you back on track with
your daily healthy routines.
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